Our TSS went to daycare a little later today so she could stay for part of the teaching time (they have a long playtime followed by structured time at desks). We have been told he is doing fine during that part of the day and didn’t need the extra support, but she wanted to see what “fine” meant. Now the word “fine” usually sets off red flags for me, but there is only so much I can do when I am not with him to explain things to him and for him.
Two things happened that are just breaking my heart, mainly because I work so hard to help him understand what is going on around him and be able to respond appropriately. The first thing is that sometimes when the class gets very loud during playtime, the teacher will raise her voice and tell them to quiet down or they will have a time out. So she does this today, and the Little Guy yells out and makes a growling noise and then stomps over to his desk and sits down. The TSS asks the teacher why he is sitting at his desk and is told he probably thinks he is in time out and that he will probably get up in a couple of minutes and start playing again – he does that sometimes.
Aargh!! So not only does he mistakenly think he is in trouble and supposed to be in time out, but he also thinks he gets to decide when the time out is over. And this is evidently not the first time this has happened. He doesn’t like being yelled at and obviously doesn’t really understand what she is saying. The TSS takes him out in the hall and tries to explain that he is not in trouble. He says he is confused and, when asked why, says he is confused because no one else is sitting down for the time out. So she explains what the teacher meant and convinces him that no one is in trouble right now because they quieted down when asked to.
Next they get into the teaching time and he responds negatively to the teacher’s directions several times by either yelling or by getting up and running around the room and then coming back to sit down. The TSS is told that he is okay, he just does this sometimes and he will come back when he is ready. Keep in mind, this is at a daycare center that is one of the most structured I have seen, and they would NEVER accept anything even close to this behavior from another child. I am blown away that it is being allowed for the Little Guy and fail to see how this is in any way helpful to us as we move towards kindergarten. We had agreed as a team to allow him to choose to sit out of some activities as an alternative to having a meltdown if he is very upset, but even that is supposed to be handled in a way that doesn’t allow yelling or wild behavior. Apparently that concept has gotten way off track.
Thank God for our TSS, who is going to switch her schedule around to be at the daycare center for more of the structured times and try to put into place some strategies to establish some new behaviors. I guess I will email the rest of the team and see if I can get some help with this one; it may be a bit too much for the two of us to change the tide.
I'm a mom with Asperger's raising an amazing son with autism, which means I'm basically the case manager/advocate/cheerleader/chauffeur. The rest of the time, you can usually find me with my nose in a book!
{ 7 comments… read them below or add one }
What is a TSS? Is that like a wrap around person?
I have to say your TSS is great. What a blessing she is for you guys. The other I thing was thinking is about is all I am learning through this experience with Church. I believe in general we are not communicating with children properly at all. Little Guy does so well and I can see it is us/teachers/classroom helpers that are failing him and the other children. Hopefully I am not speaking out of place here. I really believe what you have learned about Little Guy is worth sharing because it is even needed in many of our own lives with our kids. It is all such good stuff!!
Dr. Baughman,
Yes, a TSS is part of wrap-around. TSS stands for Therapeutic Support Staff and they work one-on-one with the client under the direction of a Behavior Specialist Consultant (BSC) or Mobile Therapist (MT). The formal name for the wrap system is Behavioral Health Rehabilitation Services (BHRS).
Thanks for stopping by!
I agree with Livin’, you have an awesome TSS. As a former teacher, I remember having a few that really did nothing other than make sure the student was not screaming. This person sounds like she is really trying to help Little Guy. Hang in there.
I love how your share – like you are learning right along with Little Guy. It’s good for me to read this and to hear how you advocate for him. I have no idea what the coming adoption will require of us as a family, but I am certain that I will be called to advocate for her in one way or another. Your openness and teachability reflected here are great models for me!
thanks, I’ve heard those terms, but never seem to be
able to keep them straight
Little guy is soooo lucky to have you and the happy king for parents. You are so understanding, loving, and supportive. And even though times get stressful, I know you feel blessed to have little guy and honored that God trusted you with him.
Love you, Okie Aunt