Daily Life, My Little Guy 
6 Comments Oh, So It’s the Meltdowns!
So, I’m heading out today to State College for the National Autism Conference. I’m hoping to learn a lot, although I’m still recovering from an allergy attack I had on Thursday night that sent me to the ER. It was the first time I’d ever broken out in hives, and we don’t know exactly what caused it, so I am pretty stressed out about what to eat right now!
I had this list of things to do before I left that started at 25 items and is only down to 20 right now, but I’m going to try not to stress out over anything – it will all still be here when I get back.
Anyway, the reason I am posting this is to share an strange yet fascinating conversation we had with Michael on Friday night. Bob stayed a little late at work to clean some things up since he is taking the week off as well, and when he got home, this is what transpired:
Bob: Hurray! Vacation has begun!
Michael: Don’t you even care about your wife?
Bob & Trish: Huh?
Michael: Don’t you even care that she is going to be away for the whole week?
Bob: Yes, I will miss her, but she really wants to go to this conference.
Michael: She does?!? Why?
Bob: Because she is going to learning more about autism.
Michael: (brightening up) Oh, so she can help me? (pausing, then seeming downcast again) But I don’t want to have to think like everyone else. You both just want me to think like everybody else does.
Trish: We don’t want you to think like everyone else. We want you to think whatever you want and tell us anything.
Bob: We want you to be your own person; we love the way you think.
Trish: We just want you to be able to talk about things without yelling and falling apart.
Michael: (brightening again) Oh, so it’s the meltdowns you’re worried about!
Bob & Trish: YES!
Michael: Oh.
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Tags: meltdowns, strange conversations
This is great. I love that he likes thinking differently. Have a great time at the conference!!!
He used to hate being different, and still does sometimes, but now he is also starting to see that it's what makes him unique. I have tried to help him understand that the special diet and supplement are to fix physical problems that he has that make him not feel good and make it harder to learn and communicate, but that we don't want to change anything about how or what he thinks or is.
The thing I don't like about this is that even though he gets what meltdowns are and knows you don't like them it still happens. Darn! I was hoping that once my guy understood what they really were and how much I hated them it would stop. Guess not huh?
One of the speakers I heard today was talking about “curious distinction
between knowing and doing” as a major factor that has to be addressed if we
want our kids to reach functional independence as adults. It's a daunting
task, I know.
The man who made the film I saw last night said that he and his wife only
allow themselves to look six months ahead so they don't get completely
overwhelmed all the time!
That is just so perfect! I was talking about this knowing/doing distinction Monday with our OT. I can't wait to hear more about the speaker. I feel like we live in this chasm between knowing the right thing to do, and actually having the focus and self control to do it.
The bottom line seems to be a combination of letting the individual have more time to mature and changing the culture around them to be more supportive overall. But I am definitely going to type up all my notes in more detail – there was a lot of great stuff!