In So Many Words

Asperger Awareness: A Key To Success For IT And Technical Managers is a great introduction to the benefits and challenges that can arise when managing employees with Asperger’s or Asperger’s traits.

Although directed at those in the IT and technical areas, the information can certainly be applied to varying degrees in other settings (in fact, I think I may pass it on to my boss the next time she is in town!). As one of the reviewers put it, “Diversity once understood and valued can only enhance productivity and knowledge.”

Plowright opens the book with a description of what Asperger’s Syndrome (AS) is and also references the informal Autism Quotient (AQ) test developed by Simon Baron-Cohen to look for AS tendencies. As he points out, many individuals who gravitate to technical areas of work may have high AQ scores, or AS tendencies, even if not diagnosed with Asperger’s.

The labels aren’t as important as recognizing that people who have these tendencies often bring similar strengths and challenges to the working environment and will perform best when those are taken into account. Some of the strengths may be:

• Problem-solving ability
• Perfectionism (yes, this can be a good thing, especially in a technical environment!)
• Persistence
• Intelligence
• Independent thinking and interdisciplinary insights
• Honesty
• Loyalty
• Focus and Attention to Detail

Of course, any of these could also be perceived as a weakness, such as when direct honesty comes across as arrogance. The author provides a number of examples of how AS traits could be aggravated by conditions within an office environment, such as extreme focus making it difficult to deal with too many demands or the sudden addition of new tasks, or with perfectionism causing deadlines to be missed.

He continues with a discussion on how to optimize an employee’s ability to work by reducing the stress caused by his or her innate tendencies. “The keys to reducing work related stress,” he says, “are order, clarity, interest, and autonomy.” I couldn’t agree more!

Many individuals who do quite well as part of a technical team face much greater challenges when given a management role. While acknowledging that this may not be a good move for everyone, Plowright offers some suggestions for how to handle a new supervisory role, including using a mentor to give some guidance during the transition period (and beyond, if needed).

I would highly recommend Asperger Awareness to anyone who is in management, especially those in areas that attract a higher number of individual with Asperger’s or AS traits. It could also be helpful to the individuals with AS themselves to assist in identifying their own strengths and challenges and give them some direction on what types of accommodations could improve their working experience and output.

Thank you to the author for providing a review copy of this book at no charge and with no expectations regarding the content of the review.

Yes, you read the title right — this post is about a revelation, not a resolution. I am not making any resolutions this year, but I do want to tell you something. This will probably be a long post, so I hope you’ll stick with me to the end.

For those of you that would rather go straight to the bottom line, here it is: I have recently been diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome.

Before I elaborate on that, I want to say that I know there are people who will question the validity of the diagnosis and even disparage me for seeking it in the first place, and I’m sure there are others who will be moved to pity or sadness for me. But I am hopeful that there are more who will be supportive and encouraging of my journey, and possibly even a few who will be encouraged by me in some way.

You may be wondering what has brought me to this point in my life. (At least I hope you are, because I am getting ready to tell you anyway!)

It’s sort of ironic that my son was diagnosed with autism in December of 2004, but I didn’t really consider that it might apply to me until October 2010, when I attended a conference with Dr. Tony Attwood. During that session, he spent a significant portion of his time talking about girls and Asperger’s. As he described what might be the day in the life of a teenage girl with Asperger’s, I felt like he was describing my own life in vivid color. I didn’t realize until he was almost done that I was actually crying.

I went home and didn’t say anything to anyone right away about the experience, sort of pondering things in my heart, so to speak. When I did write up my notes from the conference, my husband read them and immediately asked if I thought I might have AS. We both felt this made a lot of sense, but I still wasn’t sure. My biggest question really had to do with the issue of nature versus nurture; i.e. could all of my differences and challenges be explained by the way I grew up, or was the answer more intrinsically related to how I am.

After tossing this idea around and around with my therapist and a few Aspie bloggers I connected with, I finally decided it would be best to get an evaluation with professionals who are experienced in this area, so I went to a nearby autism center.

Over the course of a few months, I met with two different psychologists and a psychiatrist at the center, all of whom agreed that I do qualify for a diagnosis of Asperger’s Syndrome (in addition to depression, currently in remission, and anxiety – both extremely common comorbid conditions for people on the spectrum, especially those diagnosed later in life).

It has been almost two months since the feedback session at the autism center, and I have begun to realize that receiving the diagnosis is not simply the end of the process of looking for an answer, but is really a beginning to the process of changing the way I view myself and seeing all the opportunities I have to make my life what I want it to be.

So many things that seemed completely out of reach in the past may now be possible if I take a different approach. Or I may decide that those things aren’t actually what I want, but are just what I thought I was supposed to want. Of course, there are many things that I don’t want to do, but have to because they are part of life, but at least I don’t have to beat myself up for finding them difficult.

Before hearing the diagnosis, I had only shared my thoughts about it in real life with my husband, my therapist, and two friends. Each of these conversations was incredibly difficult, primarily because of a huge fear of ridicule and/or rejection.

Since the diagnosis, I have told a few more people, including my boss and my son, and those encounters have gone fairly well. Because I write about autism and related topics on my blog, however, I knew that this new information would begin to color my posts and I feel it is worth the risk to share the information here in the hopes that I will find even more support and also that it may help someone else who is struggling.

In reflecting on my experiences as a blogger, I re-read my very first post, entitled Where to start?, and found it to be extremely revealing regarding aspects of my personality and also quite appropriate to how I feel at the beginning of this new part of my life. I hope you’ll indulge me if I re-post part of it here:

I feel like my whole life has been spent trying to figure out all the answers and the right way to do something before I even put the first two pieces together. In my head, I realize you have to put yourself out there and do the best you can, but the rest of me always tries to pull back to safety. So, although it may not seem like a big step to most people, I am starting this venture without having read up on all the technical aspects of blogging or even the social/etiquette rules of the blog world. I am going to learn as I go along.

If you’ve made it this far, I would like to say thank you for reading this very long and self-centered post. I appreciate all of those who have supported and encouraged me to this point and hope you all have a very Happy and Blessed New Year!

So, now it’s your turn. Questions? Comments?

This month’s Best of the Best topic is on the use of medications: Have you used them with your child or considered using them? If you have used medications with your child, do they help or have they helped? Have medications been recommended but you’ve avoided them and why? Have you had a difficult time finding a qualified pediatric psychiatrist to monitor your child?

I am assuming from the last question that the focus of this topic is primarily on psychiatric medications, as this is the category most people are referring to when they say, “I would never medicate my kid,” or “The schools, or doctors, or nameless, faceless bad guys just want to over-medicate our kids!”

Frankly, I cannot really address this topic on any sort of large scale, being a parent with a non-medical background, so I am simply going to share what our own experience has been with the use of psychiatric medication for our son.

I’ve written a bit over the last few months about our own journey on this front, here, here and here, so I’m going to be referencing some of what I wrote previously as well as sharing where we are now with it.

A psychiatric medication was first suggested to me in the spring of 2009 by my son’s OT, who felt that he would need it for anxiety. The facts that he was only a kindergartner at the time and that the suggestion came to me from a school team member rather than a medical professional caused me to have a very negative reaction to the idea.

In the spring of first grade, Michael had some extreme behavior problems, and the school was asking about it again, so I began taking him to a psychiatric nurse practitioner to get an informed opinion from the appropriate professional, if only to make them stop bringing it up.

With her help, we first worked with the school and his psychologist to address his issues without medication, and it was only after we got to the spring of second grade and saw the same types of major issues that I agreed to consider a medication trial. By this time, we had also had a full evaluation done (for the first time since he was 5) and were given independent recommendations regarding medication from that source as well.

At that point, it was May 2011, and here’s part of what I wrote about the whole idea:

Considering medication is a big step for me. It is scary to consider possible side effects, both short term and longer term that may yet be unkown, plus I keep wondering if there’s something else we could do that would help.

I have even considered moving him to a more restrictive environment at school for part of the day. Although that may be helpful or necessary at some point, we do see the mood swings no matter what environment he is in, even when he is completely in control of what he is doing.

After discussing the specific issues that Michael was facing and the pros and cons regarding medication for each of them, we decided to do a trial of Risperdal for his mood instability, with a follow-up two weeks after starting the lowest dose. We also did not tell anyone at the school except for the nurse about the trial, so that we could get some objective feedback on how he was doing.

Surprisingly, we saw an improvement not only in his mood, but also with his ability to organize his thoughts. Here were some of my comments at the time:

After two weeks, we have not seen any negative reaction to the meds, and we have seen some positive things that cause us to be cautiously optimistic about it.

He has been more communicative with us, sharing stories about what happened in school and expressing concern for his dad’s feelings. He also came up with a plan to do chores to earn money for a video game that he wants!

Things continued to improve as we reached the halfway point of the summer months:

He has been on .2 mg of risperidone since mid-May, and we have continued to see a huge improvement in his mood, as well as more flexibility and organized thinking.

During his two weeks at the babysitter’s he only had 2 or 3 outbursts, and only one of those included aggression. And he has only had 3 aggressive incidents during the first four weeks of his summer program. This is a huge improvement over how school was going and is even better than he did last year at the same sitter and program.

Going back to school was the biggest test, and even that has gone remarkably well. Michael has met his goal with regard to timeouts at school both months so far, even with his full-time aide leaving to take another job and the agency/school scrambling to cover even a few of the hours.

Because he responded so well to the smaller dose, we did not increase it at all and he is continuing at that level even now. As long as it continues to work well and there are no adverse indications from the twice yearly blood tests, we plan to keep giving it to him for at least a year before deciding on the next steps.

My best advice if you are considering the use of a psychiatric medication for your child is to find a qualified professional with strong knowledge and experience in this area, clearly identify the major issues you are dealing with and implement any non-medication related suggestions that may resolve them first.

If you do decide on a medication trial, have a clear time frame and know the criteria you will be using to evaluate the outcome and make the decision regarding ending it, continuing it or changing it in some way. And remember this is not a once and done decision, but an ongoing question to be answered as many times as necessary based on your child’s best interests.

Note: This post was written for the S-O-S Best of the Best, Edition 12: Medications and Their Use with Special Needs Kids, which will be published on November 15th.

I haven’t written much about our daily lives lately – there has actually been so much going on that it’s been hard to distill it into a coherent blog post. The other day I woke up early and was thinking about where Michael is with things right now and what I want to focus on in the immediate future.

So, please take this as a reflection of my thoughts about our personal situation at the moment and not an editorial on how anyone else should think or act with regard to their own child.

Third grade so far has been a highly positive experience for all of us. Michael’s teacher is extremely good, and the whole team seems to be working together quite well towards the goal of encouraging Michael towards more independence in his organizational skills as well as self-regulation.

Of course, there is always the tendency to move too fast towards lowering the level of reinforcement and support. When people see success, they seem to want to breathe a sigh of relief and say, “Okay, that’s taken care of.” But I see it as a much more gradual process. I think the first sigh of relief should be that we have found a level of support that is appropriate for him right now and that we should continue at that level until he is clearly showing that he doesn’t need it so much.

When anyone on Michael’s team mentions pulling back in any way, I tend to panic and react negatively to the suggestion, not because I don’t have the same desires as they do for his independence, but because I instinctively sense that he needs an extremely gradual transition towards a different kind of support than he is currently getting.

(Ironically, the day after I wrote this the Learning Support Teacher was talking about lengthening the interval at which Michael earns checkmarks toward his rewards. For now, we are just going from 3 minutes to 5 minutes, so that should be a negligible change for him.)

Notice that I say “different kind of support.” He will still need support from other people – we all need that in our lives.

One reason for this is because of his maturity level, especially in terms of emotional and social functioning. Another is that he is not at the point where he can always identify when he needs additional help or ask for it if he does realize it. That skill is one of the most important ones I can think of for him to learn, actually.

As I am writing this, I am thinking that another thing I need to emphasize more with him is that everyone needs help and support from other people, to varying degrees based on what is happening in their lives. Pointing out to Michael when others are asking for help or making mistakes or struggling to learn a new skill helps him see that everyone has difficulties at times and that it is actually a sign of maturity to know when to ask for help.

I think a lot of his “self-regulation” issues come down to this perception that he should be able to do everything right and win all the time and understand everything immediately, and that when things don’t go the way he expected, he has trouble identifying what is happening and then either communicating it to someone or figuring out what to do about it.

So (and pardon me as I use my writing to think through the issue), perhaps my focus should be more on helping him to notice and understand what is going on around him so that he can engage in more communication and interactions that are meaningful for him.

This may sound sort of touchy-feely, so let me say that I definitely think it is critical to provide clear instruction on “expected behaviors” and related topics, and that using tangible reinforcements for motivation on non-preferred tasks meets his needs at the moment. And these strategies are incredibly useful to get through the school day, and for structured events in the home and community.

Sometimes I wonder if I am being hypocritical by advocating for such a high level of support at school, while tending towards a more natural interaction at home. But ultimately I don’t think I am, for several reasons:
1. School is by its very nature a more structured environment, with many people who all need to work together in a safe and responsible manner to accomplish specific goals.
2. There is less time and opportunity to provide the in-depth explanations and time to process situations within the constraints of the school day.
3. A teacher with a class full of students cannot possibly attend to all of the signals that Michael may not be paying full attention or understanding the dynamics of what is going on or even that something is upsetting to him. (His current teacher is by far the best at this that I have seen, but it’s a completely different situation than him being with just me or with a therapist one-on-one.)

Recognizing these things has helped me gain a better perspective for myself on what I advocate for school supports. At home, I may not need to provide such a high level of reinforcement*, simply because I am able to focus more intently on his needs at that moment, whether it be adjusting the environment or having an in-depth conversation about perception versus reality.

At school or in a more structured community setting, he needs the higher level of reinforcement to motivate him to accept what is happening around him or what he is being asked to do as necessary, even if he doesn’t like or understand it completely. And learning that different situations and environments have different rules and expectations is a good thing too.

Edited to add: *Re-reading this, I think I should say I don’t need to provide as much tangible reinforcement such as physical rewards or a token economy, but can rely more on social and emotional reinforcers.

I don’t know about you, but I spent the first several days after hearing the diagnosis of autism frantically reading everything I could get my hands on, trying to figure out what I should be doing to help my son. I swung daily from feeling that there must be one perfect answer to the question to feeling like I should be hitting every area at once so as not to lose any more precious time.

I was blown away by the fact that the Birth-3 team thought 45 minutes of speech therapy and 45 minutes of occupational therapy a week was plenty. And even though the preschool program offered 12 hours a week in the classroom along with the therapy sessions, I still felt an intense pressure to do more.

So we did. We have tried a lot of different therapies, with a variety of outcomes. We have done music therapy, art therapy, occupational therapy, a listening program, speech therapy, sensory integration therapy, behavioral therapy, Floortime, psychotherapy, a special diet, supplements, and medication, to name a few. Some were effective and have stuck with us, while others likely did more to make me feel like I was doing something than they actually helped Michael.

I don’t pretend to have all (or even most) of the answers, especially since at times I still battle the same insecurities and fears that I always have, but here’s a few things I have learned along the way:

• Parenting is a marathon, not a sprint. Pace yourself, and don’t let every little issue become your whole life. The conversations about nursing versus bottle feeding that were so all-consuming when your child was an infant aren’t even on the radar when you are talking to the second grade teacher about spelling or math.
• Quantity is important, but quality is even more so. As much as some people would like you to believe you must do 40 hours of ABA a week, or 8 Floortime sessions a day, it is critical to give your child yourself, present with them, engaging with them however you can.
• Along those lines, nothing takes the place of getting on the floor and playing with your kid. For some people, this is natural, but for me it was easy to retreat to the computer and my books and focus on researching and learning to find the “right” answers. If I could go back, I would spend half that time just hanging out with Michael instead and really paying attention to what makes him light up with interest and curiosity.
• You have to pick your battles; that is, figure out what your top goals are and prioritize any therapies that addresses those issues. What skill or activity would make things better for your child and for your family? What would make them more functional and independent in their communication or daily life? Once you know what you want and what your child wants, you can make decisions about where therapy may fit in with those goals.

When it comes down to it, we are all imperfect people, raising imperfect children. We want to prepare them for life as best we can, to pass on our values and ideals, to let them know they are loved and to celebrate their uniqueness. We cry for them when things are difficult and rejoice with them when victories are won. We do the best we can at any given moment, and so do our kids, and that’s enough for me.

Note: This post was written for the Best of the Best, Edition 9: Therapy and Special Needs Kids.

I really missed doing this last week when things got so hectic around here and wanted to make sure I joined in this time, despite the recurrence of strep throat that has hit me this week. So, here are my Friday’s Fave Five :

1. Best of the Best, Edition 7: Media and Kids with Special Needs

This monthly collection of posts features a variety of viewpoints on a topic, and this month’s topic is media. With 26 bloggers weighing in with their thoughts, there is something for everyone in this edition.

If I can be so bold as to promote my own post, I contributed with Harnessing the Power of Electronic Media for a Child with Autism.

2. Obsession by Melissa at Someday, When I’m Famous

This post actually goes along quite well with my first favorite, as it shows how Melissa is helping her son turn his love of spending time on the computer into a participatory activity by making his own stop-motion videos. You can also hear about it in Jake’s own words at his blog, Awesome Things I Like.

3. Surviving on Fizzy Pop by Fi at Wonderfully Wired

A brilliant illustration of the difference between “coping” and “surviving” and the aftermath of each, and why you don’t want to shake up that bottle of soda before you open it!

4. This week, I am continuing to love decluttering. We are now less one old computer, computer desk and toy bin unit, and are soon to be minus an extra sideboard.

5. My favorite thing by far, however, is making friends over Angry Birds in the waiting room at the OT’s office. This one isn’t about me, though, it is about Michael and his new pal CJ. They had a playdate at our house this week and had a great time with only a couple of minor misunderstandings on either side. The high point for me was when CJ asked to be player one on the Wii and, after thinking about it for a couple of minutes, Michael handed him the first remote. Ahh, the joys of Aspie friendship!

What were your favorite things this week?

This is a wonderful story of a father and son moment by Patrick Paulitz that I am honored to share with you courtesy of Autism Asperger’s Digest magazine. Patrick is a freelance writer who lives with his wife April and son Shamus in San Mateo, California. I hope you all have a great Father’s Day and are able to celebrate the dads (and other positive male influences) in your children’s lives.

All of us make daily choices in life. Most of these choices are trivial, like what to have for dinner or what color socks to wear. Other choices are more life-changing, like whom to marry, where to live, or what house to buy. Sometimes, choices are made which at the time seem to be in error, but allow us, if our ears, eyes, and mind are open, to learn about life, our children, ourselves. Sometimes a wrong turn can lead to nothing less than a miracle.

It was a spring Saturday in the Bay Area. There was nothing exceptional about the day, except that it wasn’t raining. Not bad for a weekend in the wettest year California had experienced in decades. The sky was blue with white puffy clouds, and it was on the cool side – a great day for a picnic.

April and I decided to spend the day in Sausalito, a trendy upscale town on the waterfront just north of the Golden Gate Bridge. We packed a lunch and ate hot dogs, chips, and sodas with a spectacular view of the San Francisco skyline. The pigeons and sea gulls, we discovered, are only your friends when you’re eating. They’re not one of God’s more loyal creatures, to say the least. Later that afternoon we blew bubbles with Shamus, our four- year-old autistic son, in a local park before starting the drive back to our home on the Peninsula.

On the way home I took a minor detour; I wanted to show April some nice places to have a picnic another time, with a great view of the San Francisco Bay. As luck would have it, despite our best efforts to follow the signs to the freeway we somehow took a wrong turn. Or was it a wrong turn?

We soon found ourselves among green rolling hills that we could see eventually led to the Pacific Ocean. We were debating whether to turn around, or just keep going and enjoy the ride. It was so beautiful, we decided to venture on. By the time we arrived at the ocean, April had no interest in making the short trek to the water. I parked the van and walked to the beach by myself, staying only a few minutes. It was no fun being there without my wife and son. That’s just not the way God intended it.

Before maneuvering home, we knew Shamus needed a potty stop. Even though the restroom building was not more than a few hundred feet across the parking lot, we figured the less walking our boy did here, the better. Parked cars are a real distraction for Shamus. Once “business” was done, I turned to Shamus and said, “Shamus, do you want to go to the beach?” He was never a beach-lover before, but I thought I’d give him the option. Surprisingly, he said “yes.” Kids, even autistic ones, do change sometimes, I guess…

We watched the waves tumble in, leaving the hissing, white-green foam behind. Shamus seemed to be enjoying it so much – the sound of the ocean, the frothy surf, the big sky overhead.

Now, Shamus is a native Californian and our home is only 10 miles from the ocean. He had been to the beach many times before and had never been too interested in exploring beyond the blanket he was sitting on. But today was different; he wanted to get his feet wet.

San Francisco is not a “beach” town, despite its physical proximity to the ocean. The water is cold, and summer weather along the coast is usually cold and foggy the entire day. Bay Area residents, especially coastal residents, don’t wear shorts and don’t keep beach towels in their car. Extra blankets and jackets are a far more practical item to have on hand.

But here was my son wanting – for the first time – to get his feet wet. So, we rolled up his pants, took off his socks and shoes, and I did the same. Shamus got his feet wet. He was ecstatic. As for me, the water felt like ice, my feet were frozen, my rolled-up pant legs soon unraveled, and in no time, both our pants were soaked – and we had no dry clothes. And yet, I wouldn’t have traded that moment for anything in the world. It was our moment – father and son – playing in the surf. Nothing else in the world mattered to either of us. For most four-year-olds, such a moment would be routine. With our dear Shamus, however, I take nothing for granted.

April is such a “Mom.” Even today my own mother, who is 82 years old, often tells me to put on a sweater when she is cold. A mother’s nurturing nature transcends generations and crosses cultural lines. As April motioned for us to come out of the water, even trying to bribe Shamus with a bag of potato chips, I shook my head. I laughed and laughed and shook my head. “No way,” I was thinking to myself. This is our special moment in time. I knew what she was thinking. We were cold and wet – more specifically, Shamus was cold and wet. Dad can take care of himself. And I knew that I would allow nothing – not even a loving Mom waving a bag of potato chips – to spoil this moment. Potato chips and a warm minivan could wait.

After we came out of the water, April drove home as I sat in the passenger seat, stripped down to my T-shirt and underwear. Shamus wore only a shirt and a towel – and a big smile on his face. As we drove south across the Golden Gate Bridge, I thought about what a miracle God had given me that day – and all because of a wrong turn.

Reprinted with permission from a featured article that appeared in the September/October 2005 issue of Autism Asperger’s Digest magazine. Learn more at www.AutismDigest.com.

Copyright © 2011 Autism Asperger’s Digest. All Rights Reserved.

I so enjoyed posting a Friday’s Fave Five last week that I decided to do it again. It’s so nice to take time to “look back over the week and find those things that have blessed our everyday lives.”

This week I have read so many great blog posts that I wanted to share a few of them with you.

1. Things I’ve learned being a special needs Mama by Tammy at Praying for Parker – Tammy shares from her heart about the (mostly good) lessons she has learned since becoming mama to a medically fragile kiddo.

2. Practical advice on Ministering to Parents of Children with Special Needs – one of many helpful and inspiring posts at The Inclusive Church. I found myself agreeing out loud with many of the points addressed in this post and think it would be a great read for anyone who isn’t sure of the best way to be a friend and a blessing in this situation.

3. Moms who are teaching their kids, by whatever means necessary, not to be a bully, as evidenced by How It Starts by Dave Hingsburger and That’s probably what I would do, too by jillsmo. Way to go, moms!!

4. I can’t let the last day of school go by without a shout out to NO MORE HOMEWORK! Oh wait, they are sending home what? A summer packet? Well, at least we have 11 weeks to get it done. I’m sure it will be no problem at all.

5. And finally, some humor! This is a super funny video my son found on YouTube about the latest development in computer technology:

What are your favorite things this week?

Title: Big Daddy’s Tales From the Lighter Side of Raising a Kid With Autism
Author: F. Lewis Stark
Length: 178 pages
Genre: Humor
Publisher/Date: CreateSpace, 2011
Source: Review copy

For anyone familiar with Big Daddy from Big Daddy Autism, you will totally understand why I was so excited to have the chance to read and review his recently released book. The full title alone is quite a mouthful — “Big Daddy’s Tales From the Lighter Side of Raising a Kid With Autism: Never before published hilarity, favorite posts from the blog, marginally helpful tips, poorly drawn cartoons galore, and oodles of original stories from some of Big Daddy’s favorite bloggers.”

For those of you who haven’t already been introduced, here’s a bit of background info:

F. Lewis Stark, aka “Big Daddy Autism,” is the father of a beautiful, thirteen year old autistic boy. Upon hearing Griffin’s diagnosis over a decade ago, he felt as though his world collapsed. Big Daddy often wished there was a resource available to show fathers that raising a child with a disability was not all about sorrow, lost hopes and heartache.

That led him to start a blog and write his first book. On his blog, and in his book, Big Daddy uses hilarious anecdotes from his experience in raising his quirky son as jumping off points to demonstrate that, while his life did not turn out as he expected, raising an autistic kid is far from misery. Big Daddy shows how acceptance, gratitude and humor help to overcome a great deal of adversity.

As excited as I was when the book arrived, I was even more thrilled to find that it had been autographed by all four members of the Big Daddy family, thus earning it a permanent spot on my bookshelf.

Big Daddy’s Tales includes so many of the things readers of the blog have come to know and love – elevators, The Weather Channel and Wilford Brimley, just to name a few. Besides that, any book in which the first chapter is titled “And Then There Was Screaming” definitely has my attention. Take, for instance, this story of a routine blood test:

Griffin squirmed, wriggled, and squealed so much that, even though there was only one pinprick, my shirt wound up covered in blood. The nurses must have thought we had hit an artery. I left the office looking like an extra from the opening scene of Saving Private Ryan. I almost wish I had a fender bender on the way home just so I could have seen the reaction on the face of the other driver as I stumbled out of the car covered in blood.

Ahh, it makes me chuckle just reading it again.

Sprinkled amidst the Griffin tales and Big Daddy cartoons are essays contributed by fellow bloggers who are also parents of kids with special needs. And no, I’m not going to list them all here – you’ll just have to get your own copy of the book (available in paperback or for the Kindle, hint, hint) to find out who they are!

At the end of the book, Big Daddy even gets serious for a moment and shares some of the lessons he and Mrs. Big Daddy have learned over the years. Number 2 on his list is, appropriately enough, “Laugh. A lot.” As he puts it, “We have discovered that, by finding and recognizing the humor in our lives, we are better able to survive it.”

Big Daddy, thanks for helping us all take some time to lighten up a bit and find something to laugh about. And thanks to Griffin, Mrs. Big Daddy and Lil Sis for just being awesome!

As mentioned previously, my copy of this books was graciously given to me for free and I’m not giving it away to anyone! You can get your own copy at Amazon or find out more at Big Daddy Autism.

Starting Sensory Therapy: Fun Activities for the Home and Classroom! by Bonnie Arnwine

This is a great little book that I had the pleasure of receiving a review copy to read. I will be finishing up my full review soon, but wanted to list it here just for keeping track of all my books.

The Uncharted Path: My Journey with Late-Diagnosed Autism by Rachel B. Cohen-Rottenberg

You may already be familiar with Rachel Cohen-Rottenberg as the blog author of Journeys with Autism. Even if you aren’t, I would highly recommend reading this compelling memoir of her life. I was deeply touched by much of what she shared, probably more than you can imagine, and I found her observations on her own coping strategies and on the nature of autism itself to be extremely insightful.

The Unwritten Rules of Social Relationships: Decoding Social Mysteries Through the Unique Perspectives of Autism by Dr. Temple Grandin and Sean Barron, Edited by Veronica Zysk

I have had this book on my wish list for quite a while and am so glad that I finally read it. Although the way the text switches back and forth between the two authors and the editor was a bit disconcerting at times, I did appreciate having the perspectives of these two very different people brought together in one discussion on this important topic. The book is aimed primarily at parents and educators of children with autism, but I believe it could be very helpful to teenagers or adults with autism who are reading it for themselves.

There are ten unwritten rules shared in this book, although the first four words of the first rule (“Rules are not absolute”) give you a hint that this is anything but a black-and-white manual. The most helpful part for me was actually in the beginning of the book, where Temple talks about the difference between social skills and emotional relatedness and encourages adults to focus on teaching their child appropriate social behaviors while recognizing and accepting that he or she may not relate to others emotionally in the same way they do.

Daughters-in-Law by Joanna Trollope

I have long been a fan of Joanna Trollope, and this recent novel is no exception. When I saw it being reviewed by Elizabeth at 5 Minutes for Books, I immediately added it to my library list and was lucky enough to get it very quickly!

At its center are Anthony and Rachel Brinkley and how they cope with the changes that come as their youngest son follows in his two older brothers’ footsteps by getting married and starting his own life separate from theirs. Although the road is a bit bumpy, in the end the growth in each character brings them to a stronger and truer place in their lives.

The Wilder Life: My Adventures in the Lost World of Little House on the Prairie by Wendy McClure

I must admit that I, like Wendy, fell in love with Laura Ingalls and her adventures as a young girl. I have read the entire series of Little House books more times than I can count, as well as many related books. Although I am aware that they are not autobiographical, but were rather written to give future generations a sense of what it was like then, I have never pursued that line of thought very far. I simply enjoy being taken away to another time and place.

It was with a bit of trepidation, therefore, that I began reading this account of Ms. McClure’s own exploration of the life of Laura Ingalls Wilder and her family. In a few cases, my feelings were justified; for example, I had not liked Rose Wilder much before this, and I like her even less now. In terms of the book itself, however, I found it to be extremely enjoyable and fascinating. I greatly appreciated the writing style as much as the content and laughed out loud at least a dozen times during the course of the book. I would definitely recommend this book to any and all Little House book fans.

You can see all the books I’ve finished so far this year on the bookshelf on my Books page or read all of my mini reviews by clicking on the 2011 Reads tag. I am also joining in on the Spring Reading Thing hosted by Callapidder Days, and you can see my list of what I plan to read this spring at my SRT11 post.