In So Many Words

I shared recently about how I had decided to start taking Michael to see a psychologist and promised an update on how it’s been going.

One of the original things that motivated me to take him was a concern over his levels of anxiety and his self-esteem. Whenever he would get frustrated about something or be sent for a timeout, he was constantly saying things like, “Everybody thinks I’m stupid” and “Nobody likes me,” usually at the top of his voice as he stormed off to his room.

After the psychologist met with me and then talked with Michael for a while, she felt that his feelings of low self-esteem weren’t pervasive and that it was more a function of him just coming out with something drastic when he was extremely frustrated, since he didn’t really know how to handle that much emotion. And, sure enough, within a month of so, he switched from yelling about how horrible he was to how horrible WE were, as is “I hate you” and “You are the worst parent ever!”

(At this point, I am ignoring the yelling as long as he is actually on his way to his room for some alone time – which is sometimes a mom-ordered timeout and sometimes a self-imposed break.)

I took him to meet with psychologist weekly for a while, and then she suggested having him join one of her playgroups, which each have up to 4 or 5 kids all close in age/functioning level. He started going to the Kindergarten-2nd grade group and enjoyed it at first – partly because he had started being aware that he was different from the other kids at school and wanted to meet these other kids I said were out there who “thought like him.”

After a while, though, the group was ready to move into a more free-form time, where the kids would negotiate what games or activities they would do together. Michael and one of the other children were having trouble with this and still needed to focus on the challenges of actually playing together, especially with non-preferred activities. So she split the group into two and continued providing a more structured environment for the one Michael now attends.

Over the past year, he has definitely shown some progress in his ability to control his whining, continue playing a game even when he thinks he might lose (in group and at school, that is, God forbid anyone should beat him in MarioKart Wii!) and allow another child to contribute to his imaginary play. The psychologist is actually talking now about having him go back to the other group once in a while and see how he does with it.

I still occasionally make individual appointments with her to discuss specific concerns I may have and for her to work with him one-on-one. Overall, it has been an extremely rewarding experience!

Note: Since I recently republished the various articles I had written for Root & Sprout here on my blog, I decided to also share a post I had written about a year ago for Adopting the Older Child. I hope to follow this up next week with an update on how it has worked out so far.

I was recently asked by Dr. H to write for Adopting the Older Child about my decision to see a psychologist with regard to my son and am honored by the opportunity to share with you here. Although my son is not adopted, he is a child with special needs, having been diagnosed with autism shortly before his third birthday.

So what brought me to the decision to see a psychologist?

Well, over the last few years (he is almost seven now), I had pretty much given up on typical parenting books and advice because they didn’t seem to work with him. I had read extensively on the topic of autism and worked closely with all of his teachers and therapists to help him progress and to meet his needs, and we had seen some wonderful growth and development in him.

But I was starting to feel stuck. Sometimes things were great, and other times I couldn’t give the simplest direction without hearing lots of whining and arguments, often leading to total meltdowns. My son would also range from sobbing inconsolably to storming off to his room yelling that he was stupid and that nobody loved him.

I tried so many different ways of responding to him in an effort to figure out what would work, but that only seemed to create more confusion. I was also getting more and more worried about his high level of anxiety and his seemingly low self esteem. While I didn’t want to cause emotional damage, I also knew I had to get control of the situation before I had my own meltdown.

I had thought of seeking the help of a psychologist almost a year earlier but hadn’t followed up on it at the time. Now I was desperate ready, so I made an appointment with one of the people that had been recommended to me as an expert in the area of autism. She met with me alone first to discuss what I was seeing and feeling about my son and our situation, and then she started meeting with him once every week or two.

We were very lucky to find someone I really liked from the beginning, although I was willing to meet with more than one if she didn’t connect well with us. After a few months of going to her, I can say that this has been one of the best decisions I have made. My son is benefiting from having someone who can help him learn more about himself and how he relates to other people.

It has also been wonderful to have someone in our corner with more knowledge in this area to help me figure out what is going on and also suggest the best ways to handle it. She has given me several practical suggestions, including things like teaching expected behavior and finding a discipline technique that works for us.

Image from Wikipedia.com

Fine Motor (increase hand strength, dexterity and coordination)

• Just opening and closing the containers can be an exercise in itself
• Squeezing it to make it softer or combine pieces into a larger lump
• Pinching bits of dough and rolling small balls with the thumb and first two fingers
• Forming it into a ball or sausage with two hands or with the flat of a hand on the table
• Flattening it with a palm or a rolling pin
• Cutting it with scissors or with a knife
• Using one of the presses, such as for the spaghetti hair (even I find this one difficult!)
• Finding small objects that have been hidden in the dough

Language and Communication

• Identifying colors by name or by pointing
• Requesting what they want (more dough, another color, a specific tool)
• Answering questions about what they are doing
• Matching, sorting or making patterns with cut-out shapes or balls of different colors
• Forming it into letters and spelling words
• Drawing on flattened dough
• Expressing emotions through sculpting what they are feeling

Social/Emotional and Imaginative Play

• Sharing the dough with an adult or another peer
• Taking turns using the different tools or deciding what to make
• Creating items for pretend play, such as food for a picnic
• Being responsible with the materials (no one wants to have to get it out of the carpet!)
• Helping to clean up when playtime is all done

One issue that may arise is the child being unwilling to touch the playdough due to sensory issues. A way to get around this is be to place some of the dough in a sealed plastic bag and allow them to manipulate it without actually coming in contact with it. Over time, they may become open to touching it and eventually playing with it directly.

If your child enjoys using playdough, you can use this activity to teach almost any skill that they need help with. If your child prefers doing other things, but you want to encourage this type of play, you could use their other interests to draw them in.

The latter was the case for my own son, who loved letters and numbers but lacked the hand strength or motor planning to work with the dough. We got him interested by making the letters of his name and eventually were able to show him how to manipulate the dough himself. And now he loves playing with it and coming up with new ideas of things to make!

Please note: Most playdough is not gluten free. If your child is sensitive to gluten, you may wish to consider an alternative product or make your own. A Google search will yield several different gluten-free recipes or options to purchase. One listing I found is Gluten Free 101: Gluten free play dough brands and recipes.

Note: This article appeared originally on Root & Sprout, a parenting ezine which is no longer available online.

Well, I didn’t get much checked off my list this last week – too many other things kept popping up that needed to be done. After going round and round with the DAN! doctor’s office, I have decided to get copies of all the test results we haven’t met to review yet and then cancel the follow-up appointment. It is just not worth the hassles I am dealing with every single time I need insurance paperwork done properly or even to talk to someone at the office. The office manager has been very helpful, but even she can’t make up for the other frustrations I have experienced.

Now I am trying to figure out what route we are going to go. I do have Michael taking a small amount of Essential Fatty Acids as well as Melatonin at bedtime and Liquid Zeolite, which we are trying out with a few other local parents. We are going to be tracking the zeolite on a weekly basis, so I can’t add the other supplements I was holding until the organic acid test was sent in (which is now on hold anyway!).

We have a behavior plan meeting Thursday morning with the school – very excited about that – and our wraparound agency is working on getting a new TSS b/c the current one is just not up to par with what we need.

With everything going on, I think reorganizing my to do list into more of a schedule would make sense and help me to feel less like I am trying to do too many things at once. Hopefully, this will move me closer to a routine like the one that was working so well last summer.

This is where the To-Do List normally goes, but I just still haven’t really figured out how to organize my schedule. So I guess this is really just a Biomed Update!

The behavior plan meeting went well. I’ll post more about that soon. Right now, we’re super excited about going to see They Might Be Giants on Saturday for a kids’ show – although it is supposed to be yucky and rainy. My sister-in-law and her family are planning to come. Two of their girls haven’t been feeling well, so we are hoping they will be better by the weekend.

For more To-Do Tuesday, visit Crazy Adventures in Parenting.

We’re in the mainstream now, baby! I just saw this clip on Age of Autism and felt like I was in the twilight zone (in a good way).

Listen to this short clip where Dr. Oz discusses inflammation of the brain as contributing to autism and how simple dietary changes can help.

Here’s a link to the Dr. Oz on Autism video if you can’t see it here.

For more information on treating children with autism through dietary changes and other biomedical interventions, visit www.autism.com.

Thanks to everyone who entered to win the copy of Nourishing Hope for Autism. Skipping over the one commentor who did not want to be entered in the drawing, there were 10 entries, and here is the result from Random.org:

So, the winner is Janet, who left the following comment:

Janet September 29, 2009 at 9:57 am

Wow — this sounds like a great read.

Don’t ASD and crinkley pages go hand-in-hand? After all, don’t all cats have asperger’s?!

I’ve sent you an email, Janet, and I’ll send out the book as soon as I have your address.

Despite my desire to limit outside obligations and time commitments, I jumped at the chance to receive a review copy of Nourishing Hope for Autism: Nutrition Intervention for Healing Our Children by Julie Matthews.

Written for parents, this book provides both scientific explanations of how and why autism diets work, as well as how to implement them into your cooking and your lifestyle.

This book is not a light read by any means, but the time and effort spent digesting the information will be of great benefit as you are faced with the complex task of implementing a special diet with your child.

The Breakdown

Ms. Matthews begins with a discussion of the genetic, environmental and biochemical factors at work in the various body systems of an affected individual.

She then moves on to a detailed explanation of the different vitamins, minerals, amino acids and other supplements commonly used. This is followed by discussion of over a dozen different diets. She also addresses picky eaters and sensory issues.

One of my favorite sections of this book is Part Three, where she leads us through a holistic approach to nutrition that goes beyond simply becoming GFCF or SCD compliant. Ms. Matthews discusses cleaning up both the diet and the home, and then addresses how to choose the appropriate autism diet, implement it and refine it. Other areas covered in this section of the book include supplements, immune function and detoxification.

The Giveaway

I have been given an additional copy of this book to give away. In the interest of full disclosure, I must tell you that it has been slightly water-damaged when one of our cats knocked over a glass of water onto it. It is completely intact, just a bit crinkly in spots.

This giveaway is open to anyone with a US address. To enter, simply leave a comment below and make sure you leave a valid email address so I can contact you in the event that you win. I would be interested to hear what aspect of the book interests you the most, but it is not required to win.

Entries will be open through Sunday, October 3rd, and the randomly chosen winner will be announced on Monday, October 4th.

Bonnie Sayers, who brought us the awesome Autism Twitter Day back in December, is celebrating her birthday on April 3rd by organizing a Gluten Free Twitter Party.

The hashtag to be used is #gfree, and Bonnie has lots of information on ways to follow the conversation in her RSVP post, which also has a Mr. Linky where you can put in your Twitter ID to sign up.

There will be three panel discussions throughout the day, with prizes given out during those times. The party is not just about being gluten free, but will include other food allergies and intolerances as well. Some of the topics to be discussed are:

• preparing lunches for school
• implementing a diet or lifestyle change with the whole family
• how to handle birthday parties, school parties, holidays, visiting relatives
• how to inform other parents at school if contamination is a life threatening issue
• where to get recipes
• how to cook from scratch
• which sites sell the mixes and other food related products

I was frankly amazed at the amount of information shared during the first twitter party Bonnie hosted, and at how well organized it was, and I am greatly looking forward to this one. Another bonus is getting to connect with other Twitterers who are also dealing with special diets in their lives. So go RSVP today!!

Monday night, Michael had his first group therapy session with the psychologist. We arrived a few minutes late, but luckily the three other boys were still in the waiting room playing with Legos.

Michael was very excited to be meeting other boys who, in his words, “think like me and are my same age too.” Makes me wonder why we all push so hard for inclusion with typical peers all the time.

Now, I’m not saying anything against inclusion—we all live in this world and need to work together and help each other—I’m just saying it doesn’t seem like a bad thing to seek opportunities to be with people who are similar to you. After all, isn’t that what we all do? We visit different churches to find the one that fits our style; we try to find common ground with people we meet to see if they have the same views or background or even hobbies.

Ideally, he can begin to have these opportunities not just as part of a therapy session, but as part of his everyday life. That reminds me, I need to email the mom of the boy he met at the last ASA meeting to arrange a playdate.

As an update to my frustration with the increasing meltdowns, the psychologist suggested that I may actually need to keep a tighter rein on the schedule and freedoms at home and to make sure I am giving clear and immediate feedback on both good and bad behavior. I have been somewhat relaxed at home, thinking this will allow him to focus more when he is at school, but it appears to be backfiring on me.

Okay, I was looking around for a picture or cartoon that said “Gotcha!” but then I found this adorable picture titled, So you’re thinking of getting a pet duck? by tifotter. (Seriously, though, she does not recommend it; you can read her funny but true list of reasons why not to get a duck as a pet at Mr Flapper Duck.)

Okay, now back to my post.

No, we are not adopting an older child or getting a pet, at least not at the moment. Getting a Pet is the topic of today’s Try This Tuesday post over at 5MFSN, and, although we are talking about it, we are far from making a decision at this point.

And Adopting the Older Child is the name of a blog where I was recently asked to write about my decision to start taking Michael to a psychologist. The blog’s author often encourages her readers to seek the help of a therapist for both counseling and the practical advice they can provide during the adoption process and once the child is in their new home and family.

Even though we are not in an adoption situation, she thought our experience might be helpful to her readers, so she sent me an email and the rest is history. You can read my post here: Deciding to See a Psychologist. While you’re there, check out some of the great resources on this blog, such as:

• Adoption Experts: Who Is and Who Isn’t
• RAD vs. Attachment Difficulties
• Questions to Ask Once You’ve Identified a Child