In So Many Words

Life is such a process, isn’t it? And coming to terms with an autism diagnosis in your child can certainly be a long one, with lots of ups and downs along the journey.

I was so fortunate to find a strong community of autism families in our local area when Michael was first diagnosed – six years ago now, it hardly seems like it could be that long, but it also feels like an eternity at times. One of the amazing moms I met along the way was Elizabeth Givler, and I was so excited to learn that she has started blogging, so you all can meet her too!

Elizabeth’s blog is called Autism From the Lighter Side, and here’s an excerpt from her welcome post earlier this month:

I don’t remember how long it took, but one day I saw the lighter side. I could either approach this with a sense of humor or drown in frustration and sorrow.
I chose the humorous approach. Then came advocacy, social stories, educational journeys… and I approached them also with as much humor and lightness as I possibly could.
Humor and lightness are the approaches that work for me. Yes, I still get frustrated, and yes, we still have our “moments”, however every day there is laughter in my house.
The goal of my blog is to share with you the ways I have found to lighten the load and brighten my days, and share what I have learned and continue to learn along the way.

I have really enjoyed reading her first few posts, especially the heartfelt Words and the humorous Therapies, or “Wacky things we do that seem to be therapeutic”: Musical mayhem.

Just as I found a welcoming and supportive autism community in my area six years ago, I’d love to show Elizabeth how welcoming and supportive our online blogging community is. If you can, please take a few moments to visit her blog and say hello (and feel free to subscribe to her feed while you’re over there)!

Happy New Year’s Eve everyone!!

Saturday 9: Friends

1. How many of your friendships have lasted more than ten years? Which of your current friends do you feel will still be important to you ten years from now?
I guess the number depends on how you define friendship. There are a number of people who I would still consider a friend, but I don’t necessarily spend time with them on a regular basis anymore.

In terms of who I still see or communicate with often from ten years ago, there are probably only a few – my husband, some couples from our first small group, our former pastor’s family who now lives in Nashville, and a few other people. I have two very good friends right now that I can’t imagine not being close to for the rest of my life.

2. When you look at yourself in the mirror, what’s the first thing you look at?
My hair. I have rarely been happy with it. I recently got it cut short and am much more happy with it now.

3. Who was the most recent person on your missed call list on your cell phone? What’s your relationship with the person?
My husband Bob. I am terrible about answering my cell phone, so that’s usually where everyone ends up.

4. What did your last text message you received on your cell phone say?
That I had a dentist’s appointment. I am not a texter and actually had to ask them to stop doing it because it costs me money!

5. How would you “label” yourself?
mom, wife, friend, advocate, bookworm, blogger

6. What was your favorite age that you’ve been?
This one.

7. What is your current desk top picture? What’s its significance?
Not sure if this refers to my computer desktop or my physical desk at work. At work, I have three pictures of my son at different ages because he is my inspiration.

8. What was the last thing you said to someone that you‘d like to take back?
Probably telling my son “No” or “Not now” when he wants my attention. I have to remind myself of what it was like to desperately want him to interact with us and be thankful for his ability and desire to spend time with me.

9. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to go back in time and fix all your mistakes which would you choose?
A million bucks. (I could buy a nice apology gift with that!)

This is the first time I have participated in the Thankful Thursday meme. I tend to spend a lot of time worrying about what is going wrong or could go wrong and focus too much on everything I need to do to keep all the plates spinning, and I want to balance it out with thoughts of what I am thankful for in my life.

So, here goes….

I am thankful that my son, at age seven and getting ready for first grade, is enjoying the Preschool VBS at our church. He wasn’t able to go when he was in preschool and was overwhelmed by the elementary VBS earlier this summer, so it is a real blessing to see him enjoying himself and being successful at this one!

I am also extremely thankful for the wonderful, godly mama who is watching my son this summer while I am at work. It brings tears to my eyes to think of how much she has blessed both me and Michael through her willingness to love him and accept him as he is.

I am thankful for a boss who is flexible and understanding of the situations that arise when parenting a child with special needs, including but not limited to taking time off for IEP meetings and doctor’s appointments and rearranging my schedule when his placement changes or when transportation doesn’t show up at the right time or place, etc.

I am thankful for friends who are willing to listen to all my tales of woe, and who are just as willing to go watch a movie or sit and laugh together when that’s what we need.

What are you thankful for today?

I had shared back in March that we adopted a cat from a family in our church. Well, a couple of months later, they asked if we would consider also taking his sister. We agreed to take her on a trial basis and worried a bit as she was hissing and fighting with her brother whenever he would try to approach.

But slowly they have been becoming friends again, and have even deigned to share a sleeping spot with each other occasionally!

Wallace (aka Stubby) and Willow (aka Afi):

Visit 5 Minutes for Mom for more Wordless Wednesday.

Monday night, Michael had his first group therapy session with the psychologist. We arrived a few minutes late, but luckily the three other boys were still in the waiting room playing with Legos.

Michael was very excited to be meeting other boys who, in his words, “think like me and are my same age too.” Makes me wonder why we all push so hard for inclusion with typical peers all the time.

Now, I’m not saying anything against inclusion—we all live in this world and need to work together and help each other—I’m just saying it doesn’t seem like a bad thing to seek opportunities to be with people who are similar to you. After all, isn’t that what we all do? We visit different churches to find the one that fits our style; we try to find common ground with people we meet to see if they have the same views or background or even hobbies.

Ideally, he can begin to have these opportunities not just as part of a therapy session, but as part of his everyday life. That reminds me, I need to email the mom of the boy he met at the last ASA meeting to arrange a playdate.

As an update to my frustration with the increasing meltdowns, the psychologist suggested that I may actually need to keep a tighter rein on the schedule and freedoms at home and to make sure I am giving clear and immediate feedback on both good and bad behavior. I have been somewhat relaxed at home, thinking this will allow him to focus more when he is at school, but it appears to be backfiring on me.

I can hardly believe a whole year has passed since I first start blogging. I really had no idea what I was doing but just decided to jump in and figure it out as I went along. One of the things that inspired this blog was how people often compare autism to a puzzle. I really see it as just one piece of a bigger puzzle, and how you approach that bigger puzzle is what’s really important.

Anyway, since today is a special day for me, I wanted to give a shout out to two special bloggers who are, more importantly, my best friends: Hands-Free Heart and Lisa. Ironically, they represent the first blog I started reading and the most recent one, and they are both loving, creative people who give to others everyday.

I mentioned creative – check out this amazing turtle cheesecake Hands-Free Heart made for my husband’s birthday earlier this month. It was an amazing concoction of crust, cheesecake, caramel, and chocolate-covered toasted pecans.

I had told him to be ready to answer the door that Sunday morning (the day before his birthday) because there was a surprise coming. He couldn’t imagine who would be coming or what they could possibly be bringing, but this wonderful dessert certainly made it worth being up and dressed earlier than he likes on a Sunday! (Before you think we are heathens, I will tell you that we attend church on Saturday night most of the time.)

My other friend, Lisa, is a paradigm of both creativity and generosity, making homemade goodies and crafts for all occasions. She whipped out these scarves in what seemed like mere moments for Bob and I (plus another one for Michael that is not in the picture, much to his chagrin) at Christmastime. She even made one for my coworker, and all I did was pick out the yarn. They are incredibly soft and warm, which is great given how cold it is this winter!

Lisa is also an avid stamper and scrapbooker and has started a volunteer project for the non-profit social services agency she works for. The goal is to help individuals who don’t have a way to tell their story make scrapbooks to share their lives and interests with others. She has started a blog, Life On a Page, to talk about this project, which I can see becoming a template for similar projects in other places.

So, anyway, I just wanted to thank both of these women for their friendship and support and tell them how much I appreciate their presence in my life, especially as Hands-Free Heart is going through a difficult time and Lisa is stepping out to get Life On a Page up and running. If you have a moment to visit their blogs and encourage them, that would be a wonderful thing!

I haven’t written much here this week, it’s been so busy. But I did want to share more about the team meeting I had requested at school. You can read all about it at Thumbs Up for a Good Team Meeting.

And for those of you who may have missed it, the topic for this week’s Try This Tuesday was teaching impulse control, something we all could probably use a little help with!

I also want to thank those of you who have been praying for my friend/coworker and her twins. I can’t share a lot of details because I want to maintain her privacy, but I can tell you that the girls were born approximately 14 weeks early. Sadly, one of the twins passed away after three days due to a high level of bleeding on the brain.

The other baby is doing well, relatively speaking, although she is very small and may need surgery to close the hole in her heart. The family is so thankful for all of the prayers that have been said on their behalf and are very hopeful for their little one’s continued progress.

I was going to post a cute thing today about how freezing cold it is here, etc, etc, but I just got word that a coworker of mine (who is based in Wisconsin) just had her twins last night in Las Vegas (she was there with several other employees for a trade show).

Unfortunately, her due date wasn’t until April, so they are quite early. I really don’t have any other information at this point, but I know many of you can sympathize with the situation and am asking those of you who believe in the power of prayer to please pray for her (I’ll just give her name as K.)

This will be a quick installment for this month’s nightstand post, but I really did want to share a book with you that I read last week and would definitely recommend as a good read. It is called The Wednesday Sisters and was written by Meg Waite Clayton.

It is about a group of women who meet in a neighborhood park in California in the late 1960s and become friends, but who also become writers together. I was very drawn in by the characters and the way the events and culture of the time is portrayed, as well as the unique aspect of their forming a writers’ group. I am very interested now to read her first novel, The Language of Light.

If your 5 minutes still aren’t up, you can check out more What’s On Your Nightstand? posts over at 5MFB or you can also visit this week’s Try This Tuesday at 5MFSN, where I shared a bit more about this weekend and a wonderful friend who helped out while I was sick.

Often when I am asked this question by coworkers on Mondays, I don’t really have a good answer. The weekend often seems to be a blur of random activities or just completely uneventful. This weekend however, I had lots of plans for fun times with Michael and accomplishing many of the Christmas-related tasks still pending. (Bob was away at his sister’s house for an adventure, which I will share more about later.)

Unfortunately, my well-laid plans were not to be. We did have fun on Friday afternoon going to see the movie Bolt (which Michael loved!) and also a brief visit with Santa when he came through our neighborhood with the fire trucks Saturday morning, but by Saturday afternoon, this was the scene:

I’ve just read an entire issue of Good Housekeeping in one sitting. It took about an hour.

Why did I do this, you ask? How did I find the time? And, more importantly, why wouldn’t I spend a free hour finishing up my holiday to-do list or catching up on my blog reading?

The answer is that I am sitting in the waiting room for the walk-in clinic at my doctor’s office. After finally getting over a cold that started the day after Thanksgiving in time to attend the ASA Christmas party last weekend (which I shared about over at 5 Minutes for Special Needs on Friday), I woke up Monday morning with a sore throat. By Wednesday, it had turned into congestion and by Friday, coughing, but then I noticed a rash on my stomach and chest.

So this morning when I woke up and realized the rash had spread to my neck and face, I thought I had best get myself on in to the doctor’s office. And after only 1 hour and 45 minutes, my turn to see the doc has arrived. Wish me luck!

You can probably guess that the outcome was not good. I have scarlet fever. Yes, you can still get that. No, it’s not only for children. Apparently, it is a strep throat, but a viral version with a rash (a very, uncomfortable, itchy rash). I am now on antibiotics and sending up prayers that no one else around me gets sick.

One of my very good friends took Michael to her house while I went to the doctor and then decided to keep him overnight so I could rest. I spend last night and most of today laying in bed or on the couch resting and am so incredibly thankful for her kindness to me.

Although I do feel better than yesterday, I find I get tired very quickly when I get up and try to start doing things. (Thus, the lack of a picture at the top of this post. My neighbor took a great one of Michael with Santa and printed it out for me, but the thought of going downstairs to get it, turning on the other computer and scanning it is just too much for me right now! I’ll try to post it later in the week.)

So, how was your weekend?